300-posters--300-649187_1100_1630the year: 2006
the directing: Zack Snyder
the writing: Zack Snyder, Kurt Johnstad & Michael B. Gordon
the acting: Gerard Butler, Lena Headey, David Wenham, Michael Fassbender

Can you believe it’s been eight years since this film’s come out? I was just starting high school… in case you were interested. 300 was the big talk at school, all the “dudes” measured each other’s “coolness” by their 300 watching abilities. This could be a false memory, but it seems accurate. Don’t even get me started on reciting the film’s quotes, which was coincidentally the in thing to do with your friends.

“This is SPARTA!”

Coming back to this film after all these years made me realize some things. Mainly, my DVD copy is of the shittiest quality, may have to do a Blu-ray upgrade soon. It was ridiculous, I couldn’t watch it on a screen of any proper size, because it basically looked like a beach full of sand, forcing me to resort to my laptop… Out of curiosity, does that complaint make me sound too pompous? But more importantly, the film still holds up. Well, the action sequences, they still hold up. I wouldn’t call 300 revolutionary, but its visual work certainly set a standard.

“SPARTANS, what is your profession? WAR! WAR! WAR!”

A Spartan king must defend his people from tyranny to maintain stability and blahdy blah blah. Look, Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and his army of three hundred men kill a plethora of people. There is some talking here and there, but for the most part its all swords and spears. And six packs, lots of six packs. Some of the more in shape men even had eight packs. But then again, the Persians had monsters of all kinds.

“Then we will fight in the shade.”

At the point of 300‘s release Zack Snyder only had Dawn of the Dead under his belt, weird to think the first feature of his career was a reboot. Snyder started out strong, a nice one two punch into the industry. This film in particular opened numerous doors for the director, as he was given the great opportunity of heralding the Superman franchise last year. Apparently people liked his work on Man of Steel, because he’s already booked the for the sequel.

“Give them nothing! But take from them EVERYTHING!”

Acting, let’s talk about that. Some may call it over the top, I call it necessary. You have to give it to these actors for sticking with the ridiculousness. Whether it’s yelling, fighting, standing, or plainly talking they remain faithful to the work (imagine a James Franco in 300), I guess it does help getting a hefty paycheck to do it though. And the fact this film exposed many actors to their break in Hollywood. Gerard Butler made the most noise the fastest, transitioning into the rom-com genre before coming back to the gritty. Lena Headey is quite the actress as well, most notably known for her more villainous roles in Game of Thrones and Dredd (Maybe not Dredd, but I really liked that movie).

“Immortals… we put their name to the test.”

Yet the best surprise comes from a novice. Back in 2006 Michael Fassbender delivered his first role to the world within 300. Definitely one of the more formidable actors of today’s market, which makes his appearance as a Spartan warrior so interesting. He’s been an IRA prisoner, British spy, sex addict, mutant, slave owner, and could likely pick up an Oscar very soon, but his start will always be by Leonidas’s side.

“Spartans! Ready your breakfast and eat hearty… For tonight, we dine in hell!”

When you put slow motion and green screens together good things can happen. As evidence by Leonidas’s killing spree in the first encounter. All jokes aside, visual effects are the reason this film had any success. That team truly did a remarkable job. The fighting’s one thing, but the terrain, landscapes, and elements bring an extra umph further individualizing 300’s style. Plus it just makes your movie that much more badass.

“Give thanks, men, to Leonidas and the brave 300! TO VICTORY!”

There are few films whose lack of plot line and character development ceases to phase my interest of multiple viewings. I’m bringing it up so clearly 300 falls under that category, but please do not undermine the film’s accomplishment. Me not caring about character development is borderline blasphemy. Hollywood distracted me with flashiness and awesome speeches. Damn them.


300_Rise_Of_An_Empire_poster_regular_buy_original_movie_posters_at_starstills__71476what’s next: 300: Rise of an Empire
the release: 3/7/14

the directing: Noam Murro
the writing: Zack Snyder & Kurt Johnstad
the acting: Sullivan Stapleton, Eva Green, Lena Headey, Rodrigo Santoro

Okay, here’s the thing. People have been giving this film a lot of hate and it hasn’t even come out yet. I mean a lot of hate. I can’t even call it a guilty pleasure, because frankly there is no guilt felt. I’m excited for this sequel. It’s going to be cool. And for those who say no and go all filmy on me, I say eff off, my opinion cannot be changed. Lena Headey is returning, awesome. Eva Green is the sexy evil lady, double awesome. I’m sure Wenham will make another awesome speech. Naval warfare, NAVAL WARFARE! Think Master and Commander, but you know, not realistic, and probably much less talking (the British accents will be there though).

I don’t care if you fail to support this film, because me and thirteen year old boys around the world will be there to pick up the slack.

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