I already mentioned in my top 9 post how bad a year 2013 was for film, so saying it again would seem necessary. It was crap. Picking nine films out of the shit storm of many was difficult, but hey I got there. I basically picked the ones that gave me the most disappointment or just really hard to watch all the way through. So there’s that. Oh, you may notice a lack of words under each picture, well I was planning on writing a few sentences here and there for each like I did for my top 9, then quickly thought these really don’t deserve it… enjoy!

 

 

9. The Fifth Estate

the directing: Bill Condon
the writing: Josh Singer
the farce: The acting actually wasn’t the problem.
the awfulness: Where there should have been zero dream sequences, they used about a hundred.

 

 

8. Gangster Squad

the directing: Ruben Fleischer
the writing: Will Beall
the farce: Emma Stone as “Grace Faraday”
the awfulness: Why would you cast Stone for that role? It doesn’t make sense! Oh, and Sean Penn claiming he’s “Santy Claus.”

 

 

7. Oz the Great and Powerful

the directing: Sam Raimi
the writing: Mitchell Kapner & David Lindsay-Abaire
the farce: James Franco as “Oz”
the awfulness: Major film studios listen up: James-Franco-does-not-give-a-shit-anymore. And that monkey.

 

 

6. A.C.O.D.

the directing: Stu Zicherman
the writing: Ben Karlin & Stu Zicherman
the farce: Jessica Alba as “Michelle”
the awfulness: So many plot holes, so many useless characters, and that post credits mini-doc was unnecessary.

 

 

5. Iron Man 3

the directing: Shane Black
the writing: Drew Pearce & Shane Black
the farce: Ben Kingsley as “Trevor Slattery”
the awfulness: The Mandarin reveal, either Shane Black was making fun of the genre or the studio actually thought it would work.

 

 

4. Rapture-Palooza

the directing: Paul Middleditch
the writing: Chris Matheson
the farce: John Francis Daley as “Ben House”
the awfulness: Cringing as Anna Kendrick knows she only did it for the money… and not even that much money.

 

 

3. A Good Day to Die Hard

the directing: John Moore
the writing: Skip Woods
the farce: Skip Woods
the awfulness: The idiot that thought it would be a good idea to change the genre of Die Hard!

 

 

2. Bullet to the Head

the directing: Walter Hill
the writing: Alessandro Camon
the farce: Sung Kang as “Taylor Kwon”
the awfulness: If James Franco doesn’t give a shit then what level is Sly Stallone on?

 

 

1. Man of Steel

the directing: Zack Snyder
the writing: David S. Goyer & Christopher Nolan
the farce: Amy Adams as “Lois Lane”
the awfulness: Drunk editor, absolute lack of chemistry, how many flashback scenes were there?, 143 minute runtime, or just the biggest disappointment of 2013.

 

 

 

Comments are closed.

Set your Twitter account name in your settings to use the TwitterBar Section.