We’re having a baby!
Oh man we’re having a baby. It’s crazy and natural and beautiful simultaneously. It’s a beautifully natural crazy. Pounds the heart and warms it.
I’m a 25 year old man(-child). Three years ago I met a girl (woman, female, whatever). I fell in love with this girl and our journey began.
An odd start to our journey to be sure. See, we started dating, then a month later I left for a 100 day trip to Asia. We had trust, we had love, and we had wifi. Towards the end of the trip she met me in Bali, Indonesia. Not to brag, but how many of your significant others would’ve done that after only knowing you for a couple months? Not many, and for good reason, I could’ve been a psycho…
There we were, two lovers in a foreign land with beautiful beaches and tropical storms. I was in paradise with a beautiful woman, so definitely a plus.
When we came back I had no money, in debt, no more car, and living with my parents. Every girl’s dream. We made it a positive, I quickly found a job in the restaurant industry and was pretty much living at her place 24/7 (apologies to her roommate).
We settled down for a few months, saving some money here and there, but mostly just being twenty-something’s. Always together, almost unnaturally so, she honestly couldn’t get enough of me. She was smitten by this man-child.
In our minds we made a plan, we were moving to Los Angeles. So that’s what we did. I had gotten back from Asia in May and moved to LA in October.
LA taught us many things. For starters, the test to get your driver’s license should be much harder. Much. But most importantly, there’s no place like home. And that’s what Santa Cruz is and will always be, home.
So after a year and a half we left all the food, fame, and fortune behind. Well kind of. We moved out of our apartment, packed up the car, and took a two week vacation to Japan.
My girl had grown to love Japanese culture. To be fair, most of you ladies would never turn down sushi. That aside, Japan had always been on her mind.
We saw amazing things in two weeks – Tokyo to Osaka, Kyoto to Hiroshima. Golden Temples and Atomic Bomb memorials.
We ate amazing food in two weeks – Sushi to Yakitori, Ramen to Steak. A-5 Kobe Beef to Chirashi Donburi.
We were together again in a foreign land. Together experiencing culture and food. Meeting new people and learning new things. We were outside ourselves and vulnerable, but always next to one another.
We are back home now. We are always next to one another – there for each other. We fit. A child is a large step, an enormous leap even, but within our boundaries of possibility. We have fortified that within each other.
I’m not one to get mushy, but I love this girl. I love the idea of having a child with her. Very soon an idea becomes reality, mine and hers. Ours. My love is giving me a child.
Holy shit, my love is giving me a child! So, what now? Read books, listen to parents, friends with kids, friends without kids? Everyone has their opinion, so what’s the right one? Kind of hard to gauge though. True, everyone has an opinion, but everyone also believes they have the right one.
I’m sure the balancing of opinions is about to get much worse after this announcement… shit.
So what do I do? It really comes down to this – I just don’t want my kid to be a dick. Respect people, respect cultures, and respect common sense. Don’t be a dick.
Other things will come. It takes time to influence values, it takes time to educate. It takes many people to shape a person, “a village” to be cliche.
I don’t know, sounds vaguely true. I have six months to game plan. Until then I will be supplying my girl with food and compliments.
The support we have gotten thus far has been phenomenal, truly. Thank you all from the bottom of our hearts. I will try to keep this writing up, but if not I have a pretty good excuse.